Balika Vadhu - An Interview with Anandi Shivraj Shekhar

Reporter (happily): Welcome back... We have with us today, the Sarpanch of Jetsar, Mrs. Anandi Shivraj Shekhar... I was so eager to meet u ever since I heard so much about u from your husband, Shiv...So Mrs. Anandi, tell us something about yourself...

Anandi (sulky voice) : My maika that is, the Badi Haveli was just like a zoo... My Dadisa is the strongest lady in the village, but all her strength vanishes as soon as she sees her grandson, the foolish Jagya... The rest in the family are mute spectators as I'm the only one to talk continuously for hours and give lectures... Then there is Makhan kaka whose primary duty is to keep shifting Jagya's luggage from his room to the guest room and vice versa...

Reporter (stunned) : Oh!  Your family has even bigger specimens... It must have been really tough for you there...

Anandi (half smile) : Not at all... I can face any sort of situation... I have a special talent to keep my makeup intact inspite of crying for hours... I'm so busy nowadays... As u know, I have to make halwa for my in-laws, show concern for the Singhs and Jagya and also shed tears in front of Shiv...

Reporter (alarmed) : Most of the people complain that you are very slow in everything... Is there any specific reason for it?

Anandi (Sulky expressions and low tone) : You see, I was very much inspired when I read the story of "The Hare and the Tortoise". From that day onwards I decided that I'm going to walk, talk and behave exactly like the Tortoise... And it has helped me a lot. It has helped me gain the title of " Most Mahaan human being of the Century" 

Reporter (excitedly) : Oh That's great ! 

Anandi (annoyed) : One minute madam...Let me continue plz...

The reporter is shocked as if stung by a deadly Cobra.

Anandi (continues) : All those who want to be mahaan like me, have to follow some rules:

If u have an evil sister-in-law like Sanchi, be extra nice to her so that she gets diabetes... Even if u weigh only 40kgs make sure that your costume weighs atleast 120kgs... You know, I have sacrificed a lot to become mahaan...I even get flash backs of Jagya and cry buckets for him... But when he comes in front of me, I torture him to death by giving him long lectures... And yes, maintain distance from your husband even if u love him... But don't leave any chance of hugging him or buttoning up his shirt... Prepare good food and keep feeding the people at home till they get acidity...And eat as much jalebis as u can so that sweet words keep flowing from your tongue...

As Anandi completes her interview, the reporter faints. The cause being that Anandi went on with her bhashans for a continuous period of twelve hours !!